hyperbeast photo with text overlay for the title of the blog post
Gaming,  NERD ZONE

Why I Can’t Play CS:GO

The Endless Abyss

The reason why I can’t play CS:GO is not what you may be thinking. If you’re already somebody who has fallen down the deep dark rabbit hole that is CS:GO you probably think I can’t play because I got a VAC ban for being a dirty hacker.
Well, that’s not the case! And… if you are a hacker you should know that I hate you and everything you are and everything that you do. You are also one of the reasons why I can’t play CS:GO

I should probably tell you the real reason why I can’t play CS:GO but before I do I should let you know…
If you’re considering letting yourself get a little taste of the world of CSGO, run for the hills. Don’t believe your friends, don’t believe the internet. It’s not fun. It’s a trap. It’s the fiery pits of hell entrapped in your computer and this is it’s way of pulling you down into the wasted nights of absolute torture with it.

When I first started CS I hated it.

The few hours you waste on Casual is absolutely worthless and it teaches you nothing other than Russians are loud and every time you enter a game you should expect total chaos.

Then you enter Competitive mode. Where you can expect 100% salt at all times.
At the time it’s relatively amusing. Watching player after player put so much energy and anger into ‘just a game’.

Just. A. Game.

Little do you know that within a month you will complete the transformation of normal human being to an actual bottle of salt and the person you played with that very first game is actually you from the future and you were just merely laughing at yourself whilst you proceed to smash everything around you.

Then there are the smurfs…. Just stop. Leave us not-as-skilled salt machines to ourselves. We’re mad enough as it is.

Lastly, there’s your bank account. Or rather, there isn’t.

You will enter this game confidently talking to everyone else within the community about how you think it’s stupid that people spend so much money on skins for an object that “isn’t even real”. But then you’ve already bought that Elite Build AK because hey, it’s only £1.20 for factory new! Or you’ve opened your first case because ‘one isn’t a big deal’ and ‘you have to do it at least once’ because that’s tradition! Then, before you know it your entire invent is a sea of keys and cases until you no longer have any money left in your life and your savings are far from being saved.

So, if you want to spend the rest of your life angry and eventually(and inevitably) homeless, then go ahead and keep doing what you do. But I urge you, get out. Get out now before it’s too late.

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